The world's shortest-form writing contest

Welcome to "The world's shortest-form writing contest." As you know, the digital era has reduced attention spans significantly. Everything,
it seems, must be delivered quickly and with great effect. Strong writing requires one to be concise--with each and every word carefully crafted. The added burden of making someone laugh makes it all far more challenging. A 140-character count is the perfect forum to stage this skill set. That's why I'm using Twitter to find great writers who can deliver "the funniest 140-character tweet." This will be an ongoing contest. Future themes will include "The most boring 140-character tweet," "The darkest 140-character tweet," and "The most esoteric 140-character tweet." Thank you for participating.

What do you find funny? I'd like to know.
hiremesf:   Does that $70k include a free iphone bumper?
Peglegington:   You have to be concise on Twitter. Like a circumcision, everything extra gets cut off whether you like it or not.
BrotherlessGrim:   Is the $70K contingent upon doing some "work" in San Fernando Valley?
JDBeebe:   01101000 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100001
faketv:   nigerian ad agency seek writers, send $$$
jough_stef:   I should have an advantage because I can post my entire resume & referrals in less than 140 characters
bwillenberg:    $70K will secure an exchange deal between Aust and the US. You take me and Aust will take back Mel Gibson. Deal?
iscoff:   Is this contest nearly over? I have to start training for the astronaut job I won on Facebook.
um_giz:   Does $70k cover the cost of a boob job in LA? I'd be moving with my girlfriend and I'm worried about her self- esteem.
inrgbwetrust:   Ever lie awake as your MacBook makes the wall gently throb with light? That's Steve Jobs playing 'Just The Tip' w/ your soul.
brendyn:   I hope this job isn't for Scion. They're like the Twitter version of a car. 140 inches or less.
tontino:   Oh, finally! This must be for one of those American Recovery and Reinvestment Act jobs I've read so much about.
paleofuture:   I had another one about Bogusky and safe words, but I'm moving to LA and actually want the job.
MstrMn:   I'am probabbly the moost qaulified four thes righter jobe.
azahnweh:   What's the job number? I'm going to bill the shit out of it.
JDBeebe:   Will bonuses be awarded for every "like" received on topical, work-related Facebook status updates?
jacklovesnachos:   For the least funny tweet, how about an AE position?